Green eyes

He had me at hello.

eavesdropping....

Tonight while riding the monorail into downtown disney I was observing a fellow LDS family riding next to us. You may ask how I know they were LDS? The Utah t-shirts and over the knee denim shorts were a dead give away( I'm still not sure where you can buy those shorts and who manufactures them, to call them a fashion crime is a mild commentary). If I was unsure with those two tip off's the conversation clenched it, as follows. "My friend Carrie's brother went to New York City and she said he wore a funny t-shirt and the only people who laughed at it or made any comments were other tourists, New Yorker's didn't even take the time to notice it. They just aren't very friendly or open people", then a general murmur of agreement then I hear what I think is the mother "Jeffery, we've got to get you on an airplane before your mission. I'd hate to have you say that was your first time on an airplane. Or do you think that would be a good thing and you'll be blessed for that?". Is it any wonder that to the outside world Mormon's seem odd? As soon as I overheard the NYC comments my mind flashed back to my last trip to NYC. Keil and I went for our anniversary a year and a half ago it was magical. Keil worked the first two days so I just took 2 days to explore the city. I'd been there before but I wanted to spend some time checking out some new places. I found a local's bagel bakery, decked out in full hanukkah decoration's (it's called essa bagel) and ate my breakfast, 3 days in a row. On the third morning in the guy behind the counter said to me "come over here" and waved me to his end of the glass case, "I've got something for you" he handed me a black and white cookie "You are beautiful, have a cookie on me!"How sweet, and of course the cookie was one of my favorite's. Then I thought about the trip to Lord and Taylor's for my anniversary gift I fell in love with a fur hat and I tried to talk myself out of it several times I mean it seemed very frivolous for a girl who lives in the hottest city in America! But I came back later in the day I just wanted it, silly as it seemed and Keil was happy to buy me something I really wanted. The woman who helped us at the counter said she had worked there for thirty years, when I told her we were celebrating our anniversary and this was my present she told me that the hat was on sale today, just for me! I'm sure after thirty years she had some leverage or maybe her family owned the store all I know was how sweet she was and Keil really appreciated the gesture and I scored the hat 50% off! Yeah, I love a bargain! That trip to NY I really felt loved by that city, as we walked back from watching the NYC Ballet perform the nutcracker suite the snow just began to lightly drift down. I told Keil "I could live here, I just love it here"! Maybe looking for the good and not the differences is what made my experience so nice. I'm not really sure but it's easy to find fault I'm sure it's always there but I'd rather not look too hard. As for Jeffery, not that your asking my opinion but I'd say yes take that airplane ride all the way to NYC and get a salt bagel with cream cheese you'll never forget it!

Girls Camp, really?

Is it camping when you sleep in a cabin, and eat in a lodge? I just returned from the annual camp kick off with my three teen daughters one and and half hours of kumbaya! This years theme is "walking on sunshine", as opposed to last year "project runway". Both really cute theme's and I don't want to disrespect all the hard work that goes into girls camp, I was camp director for three years myself. I guess my issue really is why not teach the girls some real life survival skills. My husband is the 1st counselor in young men's, this means lots and lots of camping! Like 12 camp outs a year minimum including snow camping! Yuck, are you kidding me? But I do get it, great skills to have if you needed it right. I mean isn't that why we are here as youth leaders, to get these kids prepped for anything life may throw at them. It got me reflecting on the sad story a few years back The Kim family from San Francisco, he was a host of C-Net. He and his wife and two daughters got lost on a snowy back road in Oregon...long story short he died trying to find help for his family. The wife and kids survived, so sad. I've never forgotten that story, and when Keil mentioned "oh yeah we're going on a snow camp" the thought of that family crossed my mind. Good skills, learning how to survive in the worst conditions. Here's my issue with girl's camp, why not kick it up a notch? I know they pass off the basic skills, but really it's a right of passage for LDS girls. It's feel good, faith promoting weekend. I'm all for those experiences like EFY, but why not put some emphasis on real world survival skills. When I was a teenager I loved the terminator movies (yeah I watched "R" rated movies, blame my parents they loved Arnold as much as I did. I even had a picture of him on my dressing mirror, weird!), one thing about the movies that I really loved was the mom "Sarah Connor". She rocked, and to a 12 year old girl, she was my hero. I'm not suggesting teaching them, fight to the death skills or ATM hacking. It just seems silly to me to not utilize all the amazing knowledge and resources that the church has in place for the boys. Aren't we really as parents and leaders providing an education for the youth, with all the emphasis on the young men's programs and scouting sometimes I think the girls get overlooked. I'm not proposing to do away with the traditional girls camp. We all look forward to singing the 21 verses of "Father Abraham", and the silly skits, the great testimonies that are born. It's wonderful, but let's not pretend it's "Camping"! Oh I know some of you stake's out there are in tents, I've done that too! So why not just kick in a few real camping experiences during the years as well, nothing crazy just one or two real roughing it, hands on "this is what you do if you are in the middle of nowhere and your car breaks down, or you get lost, or heaven forbid kidnapped and left in the middle of heck's half acre" type of experiences. Can we just slow down and evaluate the inequality of real skills and knowledge that is being passed down to the boys verses the girls? Let's empower our young women too, with some serious survival skills, as well as the crafts and skits in a bag!

Even Meaner Boyz

I know I had a mean girlz post , so here's the brother post. Last week our stake hosted "Teen Elect" it's a sort of boy /girl etiquette experience. So for two evenings they drill the 12-13 year old youth on proper dating and dance etiquette. So mostly just the most embarrassing two nights of their lives. Well my three daughters have been looking forward to this for 2 months they meticulously picked out the right outfit, the right hair-do and of course perfume. On the final night it was a sit down dinner and dance. The grand finale, your big chance to let your training shine! As the dance progressed the chaperones started matching up couples just to get the wall flowers off the metal chairs surrounding the gym walls. As it happens Mya who had not been asked yet by any boys to dance was paired up with a boy who, as she described came up to her armpit. They began dancing. So about 45 seconds into the painfully slow dance the boy said "I don't want to dance with you any more, I'm going to ask that girl" and so he did leaving Mya to stare at all the other dancers on the gym floor. No one asked her to dance after that. Boyz can be mean too, really mean.

Prop 8 and all the hate

Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs, she was quipping about all the recent unfriendly chatter she was getting over her most recent post. So I read a few of the comments which I rarely do, mainly because I don't like being pulled mentally in the tug-o-war of "what I think she was inferring to was...". It just stresses me out. I make my own judgment call and I'm OK with that. Life is already hard enough, isn't it? Back on topic here, one of the things that bothered me was how so many people start smack talking Mormons about gay marriage it just seems to always come up anytime a Mormon professes to be a practicing Mormon. I think the secular world just lumped us into the hater's club without really asking the hard questions. So here's my take for what it's worth. I work in the fashion industry and always have in some degree since I was 16 and had my first job at the village sewing center in Santa Rosa, Ca. So in my almost 37 years on this earth I have had many dear friends who are gay. I've been there with them through the challenge of coming out, the sadness of break-ups, the loss of a loved one and all of life's other crazy ups and downs just like hetero-sexuals, it's no different. It's the same for gay or straight life is hard, life is good, we all hurt and hopefully we get better. In my church we are first and foremost taught to pattern our life after our saviors and accept him as such, the Savior of our souls (some such as mine need more saving than others). When I study the new testament the underlying tone of Christ's ministry was love, and especially love for those who are outcast, who no-one will associate with. Jesus was an activist for human right his love knew no boundaries, it's for all. Often I remind my children to forgive those who hurt them, it was Jesus final message to us. So we must practice what we preach as Christians and love all of God's children as ourselves, that is such a deep concept to consider loving someone else as much as we love and hold our own life sacred. With respect to gay marriage, I feel certain of God's love for me and all of his children whether gay or straight. I also feel that being a good Christian means not whoring around (sorry I'm sure to offend, it just comes so naturally), so that means marriage to one person for your whole life (unless he or she is a loser, another post...). Here's where the whole thing gets tricky though and I can't say this is the view of my church but it's my view and I have never had the chance to ask the Prophet what he thinks of my beliefs. I believe that two people in love deserve the same rights no matter what their orientation is. I believe they should have a legal and binding commitment if they choose to. If you are a gay Mormon you still have to abide by all the same regulations and rules in the bible. So if you are gay and active LDS you have to be celibate unless you want to marry a woman and ruin both your lives, I've seen it happen and end in a tragic way. It's tough (to be alone and single) and I don't think I could do it. I would long for companionship and love. It would be similar to being a monk. I do know LDS men and women who are gay and just remain single, it is possible. I find it heartbreaking and noble at the same time. I do believe in legal gay unions and I think it ridiculous to think otherwise. If two adults are in love and want to show the world of their commitment and devotion to each other in a wedding ceremony and in a legal way I say Yeah, for monogamy! Can't we all get behind that kind of devotion? How could anyone feel that a couple who have been together for 20 years don't deserve all the same rights and privileges as a straight couple when they are sick and in the hospital. It's nonsense, remember we are to love others as ourselves. The issue is that our church as well as the catholic church and other conservative traditional churches adhere to the strict doctrines of the bible and it doesn't allow for a gay marriage within it's confines. Yep, you cannot marry in our temple if you are gay, it's just the facts. Does that mean I don't love and adore you, no and God loves you too! You'll have to get married at the court house. Is life UNFAIR, ask me about the herniated disk in my neck(long story). I think God is pure genius he created the amazing place for us to be and learn and grow and he told us it would really suck (my words not his) at times but it was the only way for us to become better and more like him, it had to be really hard. Life is just one big fat test and in the end all we leave with is the memories of this experience and what we got from it, did we serve, did we love, did we follow the example of his son our Savior and Redeemer? Yea life is not fair, some people are born with physical disabilities others are born looking like Brad Pitt. Even if life is unfair, God is not. He knows the struggles of mankind he and he alone can and will judge and have no fear he will be fair.

I want a refund!

Today as I was volunteering in my son's first grade classroom I realized that one teacher for 29 students is CRAZY! Since the budget cuts so many teachers were let go, is this insane? I say YES it is, here's my proposal...Ya know that crappy commercial during the Superbowl for the census- oh you missed it- so did most of the country well it cost us over 2 million of our HARD earned bucks. Well I'd like a refund, and I'd like to put the 2 million dollars towards teacher salaries. Using my crappy math skills I think that should hire about 40 teachers for an entire year! HMMM that's a toughy 30 seconds of crap or a whole year of teaching for 1,000 students! Come on this really isn't rocket science here, Mr President I'm available most days from 8-4 if you need some help.

Change every mother can believe in, World Peace....

I was listening to the Gayle King show on Oprah Xm radio and she had a good question of the day, "If you could do or change one thing in the world to make it a better place, what would it be?". I agreed with most of the caller's ideas I got to thinking what would I do and it came to me I've thought for many years that if more mothers ran the world then there wouldn't really be war - so much of war is power hungry males. Mother's respect life, most mother's could pick up an orphan of any race or gender and love it like their own. It's just a part of who we are. We love and nurture, no mother in her right mind would send sons of to war to profit themselves. Sorry just wouldn't happen. So here's my "the one thing I would do"- for every man in power there should be a women in power as a counterbalance with equal authority and sway, in every country and nation in the world. Here's another idea why as women do we essentially let men rule our nation, really I mean where's the representation? Maybe I should start a new movement for women until we have equal power in washington we should only pay the percentage of taxes as percentage of women we have representing us! NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION FOR WOMEN!!!